A few people have posted lately about life, balance, and finding their creative energy. Mary and Kathy have been searching and, from my understanding, have finally found a peace with themselves and the direction their life/craft/art is taking. I am currently a stay at home who has put most personal endeavors (school, art, career) on the back burner to raise my children and take care of my family and home. This shift is a very hard struggle for me. I am trying to find creative outlets in my kitchen, but I truly feel as if I am in a form of hibernation or cryostasis.
Waiting for what?
I was in a local quilt shop the other day and I was having a pleasant adult conversation with the owner. (Adult conversations don't come by that often so when they do I jump on the opportunity to use some three syllable words) I mentioned that it would fabulous (and my dream) to open a scrapbooking/craft shop in the same plaza. (it is a new plaza, with some empty store fronts) She said that a local woman was considering opening a yarn shop and that it could be a great 'one stop shop' area for crafters and artisans. In return, I replied that I needed to wait a few years yet, until my children were at least school age before I could start a retail business venture. Then she gave me some advise.. the only words of wisdom she had were 'Don't Wait.' Starting her business at 49, she said that the days were long and the work was hard and she could really use youth on her side.
How long is too long? What am I giving up? Or am I not 'giving up', but receiving instead? Do I need to be at home, and focus solely on the 'mother/wife/caregiver me', for me to appreciate the 'business, artist, creative me' later in life? Is experience, appreciation, and peace something that comes in time, or does it come when you reach out and grab for it? I suppose there is no right or wrong answer here. It would be nice to look back when I am 50 or 60 and not have regrets. Not wonder about all the 'what ifs'. Now is the time in my life that I need to make the choices that will steer my future, to avoid the malaise of 'the things never done', or the 'it would have been nice to ____'s.
Ok. I am done. I am confused. So here I sit, typing on my PC, a choice, instead of researching a business venture, or working on an art piece. Perhaps is is time to rethink my direction right now...